Back into the scheme of things...winding up 2006

This has been my longest absence since I re-invigorated my blogging in November of 2006; we're now knocking on the doors of a new year. I think I could have hoped for no better comment than Saud's to wind-up 2006; well thought-out, discursive and completely over-analytical of a snapshot I took with a camera phone, in the best academic tradition.

At the outset of 2007, I have been offered a job paying about the same amount that I turned down from an employer round about this time 12 months ago; fear is a strong, powerful emotion some times, and I don't want to be unemployed much longer. As I expected, there is a cloud of secrecy shrouding my new role, but some details will seep through as time goes on, or so I hope, and that should be fun for all of us.

This past week, I have also been consumed by my brother's recreational use/addiction to anasthetics, and its effects on the family unit as a whole.

Finally, I want to make a point from out here in Kuwait. The local press here has been filled with Islamic rulings ("fatwas" as they are sensationally known) ordering the Muslim faithful not to commemorate in any way "Christian" holidays like New Year, Christmas, etc. As my family has been through a serious bereavement recently, it would have been inappropriate to wish any body any merriment and, besides, Christmas falls on 7 January for Eastern Orthodox Christians (the majority of Christian Arabs). To make a point, however, I will say: Merry Christmas (whenever you celebrate it) and a Happy New (Julian) Year. If you are celebrating the Eid al Adha/Feast of the Sacrifice, I hope you enjoy that, too.

Turkey and the EU....and Kuwait

It's not good when some company you don't remember applying to wakes you up at 10:30 with a phone call to book an interview. It's even worse if you haven't got the foggiest idea about what they do, and can't seem to find anything on the internet. To make matters worse, if you want to go meet somebody in Tunisia and that person doesn't respond to her text messages, you're screwed.

Anyways, when that kind of weird stuff gets combined and begins to wind me up, I think of completely pointless political things. How about: Turkish membership of the EU? I have mixed feelings about this issue... I'm sure it would probably help to keep Turkey and the EU more secular, but then it would also give the US/NATO a stronger voice in Europe. Besides, I'm an Arab, and everybody knows that Arabs are bitter towards Turkey, until they started opposing the formation of a Kurdish state in Iraq......OK, none of this mattered to the barber shop in Salmiya, Kuwait.

At last....

Finally, the Arabs have learned to export something to the West. Not too long ago, the uppity elected officials of Britain thought they could investigate the financial goings about of princes of the Al Saud family. Whoa boy, were they wrong. Britain has now succumbed to pressure and is stopping the investigation into how BAE systems bribed Saudi officials in order to win procurement contracts for fighter planes.

Now, you in the West will learn what it means to live with corruption in the most luxurious Arab style. Welcome to the club. After all, what the hell were the Brits doing getting their panties in a knot, anyway? It's not like their officials were being bribed...when the army of 20,000 diabetic, delusional Kuwaitis runs across the border to conquer the date plantations of the Hejaz, it's the Saudi citizens who will be let down by any faults in the hardware.

Since you asked...

I realise most of you didn't get the chance to properly see the cartoon I posted last time, and for some reason I can't manage to fix it on that post. I will try to post it one more time, so, here goes:









Najeeb asked what my political beliefs were, and, given that he asked all the way from New Delhi, and I'm sitting here in Kuwait, I figured I'd better take that question seriously. Now I realise just how isolated I am, politically. In a sense I'm a libertarian, completely devoid of trust in other people or, even worse, committees or organisations of other people, to oversee public provision of anything. In another sense, I would think that it's important that government goes at least some way to alleviating the effects of the lottery of birth. This puts me in a real pickle, as most Arab political ideologies come in sharp hues: Islamists; Communists; Authoritarian Nationalists. Ibn Khaldoun, that great Arab social scientist, was actually something of a liberal before his time, arguing against high taxation and governmental interference in people's lives/choices/religious practices. Unfortunately, nobody in the contemporary Arab Homeland seems to pay any heed to his ideas. Competing "opposition" ideologies seem to want to outdo themselves in authoritarianism/governmental intervention. In the recent Kuwaiti elections, many people demanded that the elected parliamentarians pass legislation to solve the "crisis" of a growing number of single young women (eg, make it illegal for Kuwaiti men to marry foreigners...). Laws in almost every Arab country would, technically, allow the government to intervene in personal affairs; so, for example, the religious authorities have the right to impose an involuntary divorce on a couple if they feel that the man has apostasied.

Even non-overtly religious organisations, to the extent that they exist, fall short of pushing for increased liberalism in either the personal or economic realm. The reasons for this are, I think, obvious...and I leave it to future posts to discuss.

Caricatures

I really liked the following cartoon by Abdulwahab Alawadi found in Kuwait's ultra-progressive Taleea (meaning "Vanguard") newspaper:




















Of course, a little bit of explanation is necessary, especially for those of you out there who don't read Arabic. The top bit of the comic reads "extremism", and the man with the big stick and long beard is, of course, a religious extremist. The bottom panel translates, roughly, "moderation"; notice the relatively shorter beard; the longer arm is also an allusion to a widely-used metaphor in Arabic, "having long arms", as in, being able to attack your enemies with impunity.

Who are the "moderate" Islamists? Do they really enjoy greater license than other Islamists? Basically, after 9/11, the governments of many Arab countries realised they would no longer be able to let the Islamists run amok, and so, a lot of these anti-American Islamists had to be reined in. Of course, the idea of letting society develop without religious oversight was out of the question, and so a modified agenda was born. This time around, the Islamists can make whatever claims they want in the strictly social sphere, even being encouraged by American-friendly dictators in the region (no co-educational schooling; legally enforced payment of religious taxes; more regressive family legislation; narrow-minded sectarianism) while circumscribing their ability to discuss the real bread & butter issues (American forces in the Gulf; Israeli agression; redistribution of wealth and natural resources). Basically, an emasculated Islamist was born; but one with even more power now to decide how people in this part of the world go about their everyday lives.

The above cartoon might also ring a few bells... do you guys remember a caricature run in Newsweek shortly after Khatami was elected in Iran? Similar idea: In that one, there was a turbaned Iranian fellow getting ready to chop off a blind-folded prisoner's hands in both panels. The caption in the top panel read "Death to the enemies of Islam!" while the bottom one read "This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you".

I suppose you could say that this cartoon is an example of constructive interaction between orientalism and Arab thinking....

A scary incident of life imitating art....

Please observe:
Priscilla's Dunstan's baby language school
I want to point out that the fact she's Australian is a complete coincidence...


Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Somebody has realised that you can fleece impressionable parents by telling them that there is one way to understand "baby talk". Given the conceited nature of the pushchair crowd, it's no surprise to find that they are prepared to believe their babies are actually saying something intelligible; with the level of critical thinking amongst the world's public being what it is, it's also not at all surprising that these guys will part with their cash to hear it. "Oh, my baby said the most beautiful thing yesterday...except it wasn't in [insert language here], it was in grunts and moans".

Of course, the idea behind Priscilla Dunstan's school is by no means original. The first thing which came to my mind was an insipid little feel-good Hollywood flick:Baby Geniuses 2

This, of course, shines a light on my path to wealth. I will be reviewing a long list of romantic comedies, thrillers and action-dramas to think of ways I can make stupid people part with their cash. Perhaps I could become a dating adviser, or sell security systems to protect people from terrorists or aliens or something...except I'm sure that's been tried before. Well, this is an interactive blog, or so I claim, so what ideas do you guys have to fleece people's money? Something for which they're primed by watching Hollywood films...

The Kangaroo's Story...(2)

Where would I be without my North American correspondents? Not very far. As it stands, this leaves me in no place to throw stones at the people behind ACK. To Otto, I would suggest you look up AUK, the American University here. I know a young Kuwaiti PhD student at SOAS who will be teaching history there... I will send you further notes by email.

To Saud, while I have not seen Young Einstein, and hate all things to do with crocodiles and their American cousins, the alligators, I have seen Muriel's Wedding, which is a fine film. Of course, I don't doubt that Australia is a great place; but I also know it's a place of many problems (e.g., John Howard) and that it's no pancea, and I'm not sure what the point of having an "Australian" education institute here is given that what is needed is greater research, more public participation and better labour rights well before something like this happens. Of course, one of the best research institutes in the region is the place now known as the American University of Beirut, but let's not forget that when it started as the Syrian Protestant College, it had a clear mandate of promoting a critical approach to life and of creating an environment conducive to research and medical care. There was also, of course, the role of proseltysing amongst the Arabs, particularl Eastern Orthodox Arabs. I would recommend people read the writings of Khalil Sakakini to see how this reflected itself on Arab thinking of the time. What purpose does ACK serve?

To Chelsea of Sacramento, if you have any ideas of what a camel-kangaroo cross would like, please send your artistic renditions. Not sure I would agree with the name, but I imagine it would be something like a lama with a pouch. It's amazing what genetic technology can do these days.

Well, I do need to get back to translating this piece for some people... Does anybody know what they're going to be doing for Christmas?